"All right, we'll call it a draw..."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

BLACK KNIGHT
Who dares to challenge the Black Knight?

ARTHUR
I do not challenge you.

The BLACK KNIGHT stares impassively and says nothing.

ARTHUR
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

Hint of a pause as he waits for a reaction which doesn't come. ARTHUR
is only slightly thrown.
... I seek the bravest and the finest knights in all the world to join
me in my court at Camelot ...
The BLACK KNIGHT remains silent

ARTHUR
You have proved yourself worthy. ... Will you join me?

Silence.

ARTHUR
A man of your strength and skill would be the chief of all my knights ...

BLACK KNIGHT
Never.

ARTHUR
You make me sad. But so be it. Come Patsy.

As he moves, the BLACK KNIGHT bars the way.

BLACK KNIGHT
None shall pass.

ARTHUR
What?

BLACK KNIGHT
None shall pass.

ARTHUR
I have no quarrel with you, brave Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.

BLACK KNIGHT
Then you shall die.

ARTHUR
I command you, as King of the Britons to stand aside.

BLACK KNIGHT
I move for no man.

ARTHUR
So be it!

ARTHUR draws his sword and approaches the BLACK KNIGHT. A furious
fight now starts lasting about fifteen seconds at which point ARTHUR
delivers a mighty blow which completely severs the BLACK KNIGHT's left
arm at the shoulder. ARTHUR steps back triumphantly.

ARTHUR
Now stand aside worthy adversary.

BLACK KNIGHT
(Glancing at his shoulder)
'Tis but a scratch.

ARTHUR
A scratch? Your arm's off.

BLACK KNIGHT
No, it isn't.

ARTHUR
(Pointing to the arm on ground)
Well, what's that then?

BLACK KNIGHT
I've had worse.

ARTHUR
You're a liar.

BLACK KNIGHT
Come on you pansy!

Another ten seconds furious fighting till ARTHUR chops the BLACK
KNIGHT's other arm off, also at the shoulder. The arm plus sword, lies
on the ground.

ARTHUR
Victory is mine.
(sinking to his knees)
I thank thee O Lord that in thy ...

BLACK KNIGHT
Come on then.

ARTHUR
What?

He kicks ARTHUR hard on the side of the helmet. ARTHUR gets up still
holding his sword. The BLACK KNIGHT comes after him kicking.

ARTHUR
You are indeed brave Sir knight, but the fight is mine.

BLACK KNIGHT
Had enough?

ARTHUR
You stupid bastard. You haven't got any arms left.

BLACK KNIGHT
Course I have.

ARTHUR
Look!

BLACK KNIGHT
What! Just a flesh wound.
(kicks ARTHUR)

ARTHUR
Stop that.

BLACK KNIGHT
(kicking him)
Had enough ... ?

ARTHUR
I'll have your leg.
He is kicked.
Right!

The BLACK KNIGHT kicks him again and ARTHUR chops his leg off. The
BLACK KNIGHT keeps his balance with difficulty.

BLACK KNIGHT
I'll do you for that.

ARTHUR
You'll what ... ?

BLACK KNIGHT
Come Here.

ARTHUR
What are you going to do. bleed on me?

BLACK KNIGHT
I'm invincible!

ARTHUR
You're a loony.

BLACK KNIGHT
The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you!

ARTHUR takes his last leg off. The BLACK KNIGHT's body lands upright.

BLACK KNIGHT
All right, we'll call it a draw.

ARTHUR
Come, Patsy.

ARTHUR and PATSY start to cross the bridge.

BLACK KNIGHT
Running away eh? You yellow bastard, Come back here and
take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

The very definition of tenacity....
J